I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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