Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
