She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
