You made me cry and you don't even care
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
