I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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