i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
