the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
