i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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