So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
The feeling are messing with the penis
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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