literally had 100 drinks last night.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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