and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
