He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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