he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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