Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
