My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
