He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
