I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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