and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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