im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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