My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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