If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
