She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
