filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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