When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
