Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
