My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
