I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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