I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
