omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
