Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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