I can't watch pbs sober anymore
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
