if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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