so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
