I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
