I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
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