oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
