just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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