OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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