Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
