Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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