You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
