and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
