Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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