I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
