Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
