Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
