I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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