the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
