Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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