then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
